The best thing about parenthood is seeing your child grow up and conquering the world in their own way. Of course we are proud of the obvious development milestones Bubsi has mastered, but more interesting are her budding relationships with others. Especially her love for her favorite person in the world: aunt H.
Does Bubsi like you?
Bubsi is very clear about whom she likes and whom she doesn’t. When she meets someone new or is subjected to a situation she has not faced before, she first clings to me and observes carefully. The biggest mistake another person can make is to try and touch her while she is in this mode. Bubsi opens up by herself. Give her the time and distance she needs and she might just like you. Swamp her with unwanted affection right away and the road to her heart will be stony and long. It does not matter if you are family or friend either, as the great grandparents had to discover. To be fair, she often tells me and Papa to stop touching her, too. Private person in the making!
Now once Bubsi has decided she likes you, you are good to go. She is unlikely to forget you (her memory for people is quite astonishing, even if she met them just once). You will be invited to join her playing games or drawing things. If you are especially lucky, she might cook you a pretend meal. Even if the separation has been long, she will be excited to see you again.
Bubsi doesn’t like you? Tough luck. Her opinion takes time to be changed. From experience let me say quite some time. Plus, you better follow her rules to be successful. But if you are persistent, it is worth it: Bubsi now loves the teachers and most fellow kids at her kindergarden, for example.
The favorite person
There is one person in the world you cannot beat when it comes to Bubsi’s affection: aunt H. Sometimes Papa and I joke that she loves aunt H. more than us. It is probably not true. But aunt H. certainly has a special place in Bubsi’s heart. Maybe it is because we lived with aunt H. for the first nine months of Bubsi’s life. Or it is really down to personality. Aunt H. is very clear about her opinions and what she is willing to play or not. Bubsi seems to appreciate that. When aunt H. visits, she has to do it all with Bubsi. I love that cause I can take a step back and focus on myself a bit. Sometimes I wonder whether aunt H. visits not that much due to this though, as Bubsi is demanding of her.
Interestingly, the relationship between Bubsi and aunt H. goes both ways. Having known my little sister all her life, I am confident she has never been so genuinely caring about a person before as she is with Bubsi. It is lovely to see H. open up this way. Usually, H. is rather reserved and does not show affection easily. My gut feeling is that H. and Bubsi are very good for each other. What works for them works for me. Watching them play and interact is fun (just like on the picture below taken on one of the last sunny fall days back in October).
Do your children have special relationships with others?
