The world is my oyster. I love travelling, and I have many international friends. In grade 5 I hosted my first exchange student. Marrying someone who is not German was not a surprise for my family. While I love my husband and get along fine with my in-laws, there are some cultural differences that drive me crazy. Of course, vacationing with my new Romanian family in Romania exposes me to these differences daily for two entire weeks…

Romanians are slow

Not actually slow. They do know how to jump and run just like the rest of the world. Yet, their pace of life is much more relaxed than what I am used to. Great, you could say, aren’t you on vacation to relax? Just go along with it and enjoy the laid back life! Yes, I do see the point, as I am prone to stress overly much. However, this time it annoys me more than usual for two reasons.

First, I now have Bubsi. She is the cutest, but she is also a toddler. And toddlers, at least Bubsi, need a few things everyday without fail. Number one is a nap, usually right after lunch. Normally, we plan our daily activities around the nap. Here in Romania, I try and fail to do that. Nearly every day there is something we have to do, which is generally fine. Somehow though these things are not done in the 10 hours of awake Bubsi time. Instead, they are started right when she gets tired so I have to keep her awake. Alternatively, going for a drive happens right when she most wants to move, instead of nap time when she could sleep in the car.

These “timing issues” are not restricted to naps, of course. Bubsi also gets hungry or needs to pee in regular intervals that don’t seem to correspond with the Romanian life schedule. Whilst my Romanians have mastered the art of waiting, Bubsi has not. She is used to having her needs responded to as soon as possible, mostly immediately. And whilst my Romanians possess seemingly endless amounts of patience, I do not. Thus, I experience a daily struggle: how to not get angry with my in-laws for something that is not their conscious fault. After all, they want us to be happy. And I don’t want to be the daughter-in-law that always complains.

The second reason why this time around it is much harder for me to deal with a slow and unstructed way of life is…our wedding party. In less than a week, Papa and I are celebrating our wedding here in Romania. Planning, however, is a nightmare for my German brain. Why plan anything in advance, if you can solve it somehow right before the event? That’s how my in-laws think. And that is what is happening. We have less than 6 days to go but there is no photographer, and flowers haven’t been ordered. For example. I sent out invitations in January. They did in July. Most of the wedding planning related things cluttering up our days here right now could have been dealt with in advance.

Gift giving and different tastes

As I just mentioned, my in-laws want to make us happy. Their preferred way to show this is by spoiling us with gifts. Why is this an issue? Well.

First of all, they like to make us happy with all the things they have purchased for us immediately. By that, I mean “we just got here from the airport after traveling for hours and I desperately have to pee but cannot because I need to unpack all gifts and be happy and grateful”-immediately.

Secondly, my mother-in-law and I have absolutely opposite tastes. So most of the gifts I receive I do not like. But they are gifts and she is so happy to give them that I cannot ruin the moment for her. Just where am I going to put that golden platter? Maybe I can wear the traditional dress for Halloween? And no, I do not need five new scarves. Neither does my closet have space.In order to prevent this in the future I took all my courage together and told her how I feel about the items. But whether this will make a difference we need to see next year.

Food

Finally, there is the food. By far my most challenging cultural difference. Probably because food is my passion. Even more so now that I am learning to cook better and pay special attention to nutrition since Bubsi’s arrival.

I like my meals to be balanced. I am not a vegetarian and there are no allergies I know of for either Bubsi or myself. Still, I make sure we get at least our five a day, and that there is always a good mix of fruit and veggies around the house. And some meat, but only some. More dairy and whole grains, sure. Now imagine cutting out the veggies and adding plenty of meat to every meal. With a lot of salt, which I am trying to limit otherwise. That’s my Romanian diet.

My tummy is not taking it well. Bubsi is eating less than usual and nursing more. So I have no choice but keep up eating. Also, the food takes time to prepare, amd is made with love. I politely refuse if it gets too much meat, and am lucky everyone seems to still like this eccentric foreigner of a daughter-in-law when it comes to food: me.

Meanwhile we are enjoying the sun