Or why oh why are you so complicated, dear German customer service personnel? The officers are only rivalled by ridiculous bureaucratic rules in both Germany and the UK. But judge for yourselves…
Opening a bank account
Moving to Germany we knew there would be a lot of paperwork. We also knew that things might not all work out that smoothly. Still, there are some things we did not expect to be so difficult. One of them is opening a bank account for Papa.
Papa is the main earner as I stay home with Bubsi. He was transferred to the German subsidiary from his firm’s UK base. In order to get paid in Germany though he needs a bank account in his name. No bank was willing to open one for him though. First, they required a proof of residence by the local authorities. That we had applied for (after all registering is mandatory in Germany), but as the city office is understaffed they took over two weeks to deliver.
Having presented the proof of address, the banks were still unhappy: they need his regular net income. But we cannot tell them as he hasn’t received his German net income yet. We only know his income before tax but that is not good enough. Finally, one bank agreed to open an account after lots of calls but…we are still waiting for their written confirmation. Not to mention bank account numbers and cards, of course! For now, Papa’s company thankfully agreed to transfer his first salary to my account.
My bank document folder…
My incompetent home bank
Luckily I still have my German bank account from way back when I was little. It enables us to spend money for now without always paying crazy money exchange fees. However, the bank I have the account with is in my parent’s home town. And they are not the most flexible.
My bank told my mother I had to drop by to sign some papers. No problem, being that I would visit Norderney anyhow. So on Friday I went in. But my dedicated officer was on break with unknown return time, and nobody else knew why I was supposed to be there. So we left and I returned on Monday.
Monday came along and my officer was there. However, she passed me on to a person who had been there im Friday (!) as she was not entitled to handle the case. Very well. The new lady (her boss) at first didn’t remember why they had asked me to stop by in the first place. Then she noticed that they are cancelling a pension plan she herself had sold me only last year. Then, of course, it had been a must-have. Now it is a “too cumbersome to maintain”.
Interestingly I cannot get the money out I paid in so far, I have to repurpose it. All three options are not attractive. But alright, agreeing to the least evil it is then. Only that the officer cannot do it on the spot. She needs me to return another day to meet with her colleague. Hello? I don’t live here, remember? Plus, the bank must have known this in advance, so why didn’t they tell me I need a proper appointment and what it was about? I’m seething at their sheer incompetence.
Should I move my bank account?
It doesn’t make much sense anymore to keep my original bank account in my parent’s town. I don’t live here and won’t return in the foreseeable future. But other than their recent incompetence record they are really friendly. And I trust them with my money. Plus, I don’t even want to know how much hassle opening a new bank account and transferring my various money contracts would be. Maybe we open that Pandora’s box another day.