When we decided to try for a baby way back we of course knew that birth is -usually- somewhat painful. And it was, but much less so than I had expected. What nobody told us about, however, is what I have come to call parental pain.

Being a parent is painful

I am not talking about the pain I feel in my heart when Bubsi cries or when she is in Pain herself. Last Sunday, for example, Bubsi was playing with a neighbor’s garden fence. We didn’t think it was dangerous and she was all excited. Back in the house, we noticed that the wood of the fence splintered. There were no less than six splinters stuck in Bubsi’s hand. Removing them took nearly two hours, using tweezers and trying to keep her wriggling body still. It is the most actual pain we’ve ever made Bubsi endure, and it broke me heart – possibly hers too. But it wasn’t actual, physical pain.

Bubsi’s now splinter-free hand

Parental pain, the physical kind

There is a lot of physical pain in parenting though, much of it surprising, most of it unexpected. I didn’t know that carrying a baby that doesn’t want to be put down for hours can cause muscle pain. That nursing can cause open wounds on your nipples (yes, I had one in Bubsi’s early weeks). Or that carrying a baby in a sling every day makes your back hurt after 1.5 years. Kids get heavier 😉

Then there is the smaller kinds of pain. The scratches from sharp fingernails. Pulling my hair. Bruises from random bumps obtained while sprinting to save our kid from accidents. Getting hit with a pot or poked with a stick just to see how mama will react. Sometimes Bubsi lifts her head quickly and bumps with force into my chin – crack! Stepping on toys is also a classic (those Lego pieces, ouch!).

It seems as if parental pain hides just behind the corner. Clearly I am teaching Bubsi not to hurt me and others. But she doesn’t do it deliberately. Yet. I hope 😉 I wonder what is in store for me next, after that midnight punch in the belly last night.

What are your experiences with parental pain?